Making your penis look bigger

Bigger! Better! Longer-lasting! Everyone should know that size doesn't matter, but that doesn't stop the whole male race wondering what they can do to make their penis look bigger.

Wow. I love your towel!

Let’s leave the question of why you feel the need to boost your manhood until last, because that’s not what you want to hear right now. Instead check out some of the illusions and products you can draw upon to make yourself feel better:

Trim your pubic hair

Cutting down your pubic bush, or shaving it completely, will reveal more of your genitals. All that foliage you’ve got going on could be hiding a vital inch! Check your weight – men with beer bellies or who are generally overweight often lose sight of their penises completely. The more fatty tissue you’re packing around the abdomen and thighs, the more likely it is that your tackle will seem to shrink. It’s an optical illusion, but a sensible weight reduction program could see your penis come out to play in a big way.

Avoid facing mirrors

When it comes to measuring up their manhood, most guys think they’re packing less than they actually are. Looking down at your dick will lose you some length, so if you really want to appreciate the full nine yards, turn sideways and stand proud.

Vacuum Devices

These have been around since the beginning of last century, and can be effective in treating impotence. Sadly, many manufacturers have cottoned on to the fact that they can flog them in greater quantities by marketing them as ‘extenders.’ Either way, you slip your old fella into a sealed plastic flask and then pump out the air using a hand-held suction pump. The subsequent vacuum created inside makes your penis engorge with blood and swell into an erection. A special rubber ring is then attached around the penis base to trap the blood. After that the flask is removed and hey presto – you’re left with a boner to make your back arch!

Cock rings

Can often be used in conjunction with a vacuum pump, or as a means to keep your soldier standing to attention for longer than you could otherwise manage. These constricting rings boost erections by trapping the blood where it matters most. Slip it on behind the testicles for 20 minutes max. Experts warn that wearing any cock ring for longer periods increases the risk of blocked arteries and tissue damage. Ouch.

‘Developer’ creams and sprays

There are many types of creams, sprays and balsams that work by dilating blood vessels when absorbed into the penis. This increases blood flow, which allegedly leaves you hung like a racehorse. Other creams work by increasing penis sensitivity, and many users claim this can increase sexual pleasure.

Boost your self-confidence

The bit you didn’t want to hear, but which is certainly the only way you’re going to get a longer-lasting sense of pride in your penis. Why? Because the size of your knob bears no relation to sexual satisfaction. Being a sensitive, considerate lover is more likely to make your partner’s eyes water, so relax, man. Relax.

Photo of big penis happy girl by Shutterstock