Expert chat: Coaching

p>[Jo: Can you tell us a bit about what sorts of things coaching can help with?

Denise: Coaching can help with all sorts of things, such as feeling more confident, making some changes in your life, looking for a job, dealing with relationships in a better way or anything you're just looking to change a bit.

Mel: What's the process with coaching?

Denise: Usually, we start by asking the person what their hopes are, where they want to go or maybe something they want to change. We also think about their strengths and resources, which often people forget about. We then think about how they might take some small steps towards whatever hopes or goals they have.

Katrina: What's the average time frame for coaching?

Denise: Coaching sessions last from 20 minutes to an hour, depending on what the person wants. People can have one session or more if they want to. Six sessions is usually the most people want to have, but lots of people find just one or two sessions can be enough. It's about meeting what each person wants. Everyone is different.

Libby: If someone was struggling to decide whether they should accept a new job, how might coaching help with that?

Denise: The coach would probably ask the person about the reasons they might want to take it, and the reasons they might not want to. They'd also talk about how to make tricky decisions, and maybe look at some times when they have made tricky decisions in the past and what has helped them. They might also ask about how this job might fit into their life and their hopes for the future. If the person is worrying about being able to do the job, the coach could help the person to think about all the strengths and skills they've built up in the past that they could draw on. Sometimes the coach might talk about how they could be brave in making the decisions, as they have more skills and talents than they think they have. We all sometimes see what we don't do well and our mistakes better than we see what we do do well and all of our successes. You're very welcome to contact Young Women's Trust; we'd love to help you with some free coaching sessions.

Cherice: What would a coach say to someone with confidence issues? For example, someone whose confidence is so low that they're afraid to apply for jobs or order food at a restaurant? How can they stop it taking over their life?

Denise: This is a lot more common than people think. When we don't feel confident then this can spill over into a lot of areas of our lives. A coach would probably ask what being confident looks like to them, because everyone is different. Then, we might think about tiny things the person is already doing to help their confidence and more small steps they can take. I like to think of confidence as something you do, rather than something which is part of someone's personality. When we start to do tiny things differently, we can practice confidence and get better at it. Babies don't get up and walk straight away; they try it, fall over and then try again. I think confidence is similar; you can practice small steps and learn how to do it in the right way for you.

Alice: How does coaching differ to other similar jobs?

Denise: There are lots of different helping and supporting roles, like counsellor or mentor. Coaching tends to be forward-looking, and looking for solutions to what people want in their lives. Mentors tend to be in the same organisation or job as the mentee, so they'll know a lot of details about the job and will support them to do it better. Coaches will talk about whatever the person wants to talk about and it doesn't have to be job related.

Emma: Are there different types of coaches for different situations?

Denise: Yes. You might have heard of specific coaches like sports coaches or career coaches or life coaches. At Young Women's Trust, we offer free coaching to women aged 18 to 30 who want help with work, life and building confidence. Life coaches can help with pretty much anything you want to talk about, and can help you to think about where you want to go in your life.

Marie: Is coaching guaranteed to work?

Denise: Well, there are never any guarantees with anything like this, but in my experience coaching always makes a difference, even if that difference is just that the person feels a bit clearer about what they want to do and how they might do it when they're ready.

Marie: I guess sometimes that might be all they need or want.

Denise: Yes, sometimes people don't want to make any changes yet but they do want to feel ready when the time is right for them. Coaching can help people to switch their attention. They start to notice the things they can do and their strengths and skills, so they start to see themselves a bit differently. When they see themselves a bit differently, then they notice they start to do things a bit differently.

Suzanne: Are all sessions face to face or do coaches offer other ways of communicating?

Denise: Sessions can be face to face, on the phone or online. At Young Women's Trust, we offer phone and online coaching. It works really well.