I’m not shy, I’ve got social anxiety

"Stop saying I'm rude, I've got an anxiety disorder"

Cheyenne

Cheyenne is soon to become a Mental Health Care Student at Wolverhampton University. She enjoys reading, writing and going to as many gigs and festivals as her bank account allows. She aspires to work in a psychiatric prison.

Around 13.3 % of the population are thought to suffer with Social Anxiety (SA). You’d have thought this would mean society as a whole would have a little more respect for SA sufferers. Sadly, I don’t feel this is the case.

In the UK, by law, a person can’t be discriminated against in the work place for any reason. Be it race, gender, sexuality or disability. So why have I found myself, just like many other SA sufferers, at the bottom of the career ladder, despite my efforts to overcome this condition? It seems to constantly cast a shadow over my head.

Before starting university, I decided to try and use my free time productively and get a job. This wasn’t the easiest of tasks given the recession, but the fact I suffer with social phobia made the ordeal a whole lot scarier.

I eventually got an interview for a receptionist position at a local temping agency. I kept my cool and tried to seem as confident as possible despite the fact that inside the fear I was feeling was ripping me apart. I was apparently successful in this as I was offered the job and started a few days later. My first day wasn’t all that bad. Once again, the fact I was extremely shy was completely overlooked by my co-workers and I was labelled as rude and ignorant in a matter of hours. This, however, is not what has made me so angry. I’m used to that by now.

What really wound me up is what happened the following day. On my way to work I was feeling less optimistic as it had already become clear I would once again be the loner. I walked into the building, gave one of the girls who had already started a little smile and went to sit myself down behind the reception desk. Before I managed to locate my seat, I was called into the office by my manger. ‘Uh-oh’ I thought.

My manager started asking casual questions: how had I found the work? Was I was settling in well? He then asked me if I would prefer an admin role. This was a little strange but I politely said no, I was happy on reception. I had already heard stories about the dreaded admin role, basically putting client cards into boxes in alphabetical order all day, every day. Anyway, I was then told that I am ‘too quiet’ to work on reception. I was told I didn’t seem friendly or approachable enough for the customers to feel comfortable with and so, if I wanted to continue working there, I would have to take the admin role.

I find myself wondering, if I had seemed ‘unapproachable’ to customers due to an obvious, external factor, such as being in a wheelchair, would the same have happened? No. So why should it have happened? I’m sick to death of being completely disregarded by society because I struggle to socialise with people. How the hell is anyone supposed to overcome this when within two hours of meeting someone they are assume you’re rude? I’m sorry that SA sufferers are a burden, but can you imagine what we have to live with?

I urge you, next time you meet someone who sits in a corner and speak as little as possible, to try and find out the reason. Maybe they are uncomfortable, unconfident, extremely shy. Do not automatically assume they are ignorant. Although I am fully prepared to admit this may be the case, a lot of the time it isn’t. Giving someone like me the time of the day to try and get to know them and to try and make them feel comfortable can actually make the world of difference to us.