Men’s top 10 sex worries

Yep, you heard right. Men worry about sex. Here are the 10 most common thoughts that get their y-fronts in a twist.

young man looking shocked or worried

"What? Size doesn't matter?"

1. Will masturbation make me infertile?

There’s a lot of myths around about masturbation, as no one really talks about such a private act. The fact is it won’t make you blind or infertile, nor is it compulsory. Also, people do it whether or not they’re in a relationship – including women. It’s just a natural way to get in touch with your body and the pleasure you can get from it.

2. How do I find her clitoris?

The female clitoris is that highly sensitive, and highly sought after erectile sex organ. It’s basically a fleshy bump, located at the top of the vaginal lips. Like the penis, the clitoris is packed with nerve endings and serves as the focus of stimulation for women, often resulting in orgasm. As for finding it, and handling it right, the best thing you can do is ask! If you’re comfortable with your partner, and feel able to discuss such an intimate subject, then find out how she likes to be touched. With help, respect and experience, you’ll soon find your way.

3. I’m too embarrassed to buy condoms

Using condoms means you’re sussed about contraception. It means you understand and respect your sexual health and also your partner’s. In this view, buying contraception really shouldn’t be an issue. It certainly isn’t for the person at the till. But if you really can’t face it, alone or even with your partner, then condoms are available from vending machines installed in places like public toilets – where you can make the transaction in relative privacy.

4. She’s more experienced than me

Your performance in the sack doesn’t depend upon how many notches you’ve racked up on your bedpost. Nor does it matter that she’s notched a few more than you. No matter how many times you or your partner have done it, what counts is the way you relate to each other – both physically and emotionally. If you’re comfortable in her company, and feel able to communicate on an intimate basis, then sex should be rewarding for you both in equal measure.

5. My girlfriend wants sex and I’m not ready

Lads find it hard to admit they feel pressured into sex, fearing that it’s somehow not macho. If you can be honest about your feelings, however, it shows an emotional maturity that your partner should respect.

6. She’s not ready for sex

Sex is at its best when both of you feel comfortable with the idea of getting intimate. Rush into it, chances are you’ll end up feeling insecure or disappointed. If you respect her, then let her know there’s no pressure from you.

7. I can’t admit to my mates that I’m still a virgin

Being a virgin doesn’t make you any less of a man, though a lot of lads lie about their sexual conquests in a bid to cover up their insecurities. Even if they are telling the truth, bragging about it doesn’t show much respect for such an intimate act.

8. Can we have sex during her period?

Yes. Providing you’re both comfortable with the idea, as there may be some menstrual bleeding, and you’re sussed about safer sex. A woman isn’t likely to get pregnant during her period, but there’s always a chance- especially at the end of her menstrual cycle. What’s more, unprotected sex increases the risk of exposure to sexually transmitted infections, period or not!

9. How can I tell if she’s really had an orgasm?

Unless she’s prepared to let you know, the truth is it’s very difficult. Sure, you can look for little signs such as an increase in her breathing rate or a change in her body movement, but you’ll never be sure if it’s because she’s having an orgasm or simply hoping that faking it will stop you looking so anxious! The only way to be sure is by talking about the issue with her. Find out what brings her to orgasm, and when, if at all. Ultimately, sexual communication is at the heart of any good orgasm -male or female -it’s just a question of building up the trust and respect between you.

10. Surely size matters a little bit?

The size of a man’s penis really doesn’t have any bearing on his status as a lover. Women everywhere will vouch for the fact that a caring and considerate guy counts a whole lot more than a bloke with a big dick and no brains. So chuck away your ruler, and start measuring up as a skilled, sensitive and rewarding sexual partner.

Photo of young man by Shutterstock.

Next Steps

  • FPA give sexual health advice. For Northern Ireland helpline call 0345 122 8687.
  • Brook provides free sexual health and wellbeing services for young people in the UK. Brook's services include local clinics and online digital sex and relationships tool.
  • Chat about this subject on our Discussion Boards.
  • Need help but confused where to go locally? Download our StepFinder iPhone app to find local support services quickly.


Updated on 20-Nov-2015