Risky sex scenarios

We’d recommend that you keep your sex life healthy by swatting up on some of the most common risky sex scenarios. Believe it or not, there are a lot of common scenarios that people consider ‘alright’ which may very well be putting your wellbeing at risk. The Mix explores risky sex.

Changes in the colour of your penis is common

“He says he’ll pull out before he cums”

The so-called ‘pull-out method’ of birth control should definitely not be considered a reliable form of contraception. Especially when you’re trying to avoid a pregnancy in real life. In fact it goes under the category of risky sex practices.

Firstly, the sticky drops of fluid (‘pre-cum’) that start to come out of the penis when it becomes erect contains sperm. And it only takes one sperm to cause a pregnancy. Secondly, it’s easy to get carried away in the heat of sexual intercourse. This means that they might not be able to hold back. And, if that’s not enough, unprotected sex places both you and your sex partner at risk from sexually transmitted infections. 

Suffice to say, using condoms will give you better peace of mind.

“I don’t have any diseases, I don’t screw around”

Unless you have a completely stable and monogamous sex life, and have already been tested for all STIs, this is a risky sex scenario. In fact, it’s possible to have a sexually transmitted disease and not even know that you’re infected. Not to mention, if your partner has been unfaithful to you, they may well lie about it and try to cover it up. 

Some infections can even be spread by other forms of contact, such as injecting drugs with dirty needles. This means that, technically speaking, a virgin can catch something like HIV or hepatitis and pass it on. Let’s just say – it’s always best to air on the side of caution with things like this. 

Plus, getting tested is easy, all you have to do is find your nearest clinic here. Alternatively, you could look into getting an STI home test kit.

“You’d do it if you loved me”

Sex is all about bodily autonomy, and consent. If you really don’t want to do something, no should be enough to make them back off. This includes, but is not limited to, participating in certain sex positions, sexual fantasies, anal sex, role play scenarios. And recreating sex scenes from a movie or involving toys in any sexual activity. 

A decent, caring partner will respect your decision. They won’t force you into risky sex scenarios. Lack of sexual desire at a certain point in time is NOT an indication that you don’t love them. They should understand that instantly.

 So if anyone tries to pressure or force you into doing something, think long and hard about whether you want to continue the relationship. You may decide that you’re better off without them, no matter how much you love them right now. And if a partner threatens to dump you for not providing sexual favours, get them out of your life right away. Never stand for emotional abuse. You deserve better. 

For more info, learn about relationship abuse here, and sexual consent here.

“I was so out of it, I can’t really remember…”

Although nobody has the right to do anything sexual to you without your consent, there are things you might be doing that don’t exactly help the situation. 

For example, if you’re getting completely off your head on drink and drugs on a regular basis, you could be putting yourself at risk. It’s easy to forget about safe sex or even general personal safety when your judgement is seriously impaired. 

We recognise that some people just need to cut down a little, but for others it’s a complex issue that relates to their self-esteem. Take time to figure out which one you are and maybe spend time working on your relationship with alcohol. On a similar note, although drug-related sexual assaults are rare, it’s worth knowing how to protect yourself, and look out for your friends. Our main tip when it comes to this topic is to NEVER accept a drink from a stranger unless it’s made right in front of you. 

Non-consensual sex is usually about power dynamics. So do everything you can to not let them have any power over you.

Remember, it’s not just penetrative sex that transfers STIs. You can catch chlamydia, herpes, syphilis, LGV and gonorrhoea from unprotected oral sex as well. The HPV virus, can also be caught from having oral sex. Basically, just make sure you’re protected and practicing safe oral sex by using a condom or dental dam.

If you’re worried you may have an STI

• Check out our safe sex resources here.
• Visit Getting Some Get Tested to search for a sexual health clinic near you.
• Brook provides free sexual health and wellbeing services for young people in the UK. Brook’s services include local clinics and online digital sex and relationships tool.
• FPA gives sexual health advice. For their Northern Ireland helpline call 0345 122 8687.
• Share your thoughts on STIs on our discussion boards.