Blagging your way into a club

Don't want to pay extortionate entrance fees? Then blag your way onto the A-list and party like a celeb.

We don't do queuing

Image is everything

Either dress like you’re worth it, or if you must keep the indie look then act like you’re creative and take someone glam who can gush loudly about how you’re the next big thing. Getting the look right is essential, so know the code and stick to it.

Chatting to the bouncers

Blagging still requires the ability to be nice – acting arsey doesn’t work unless you ARE a star and even then it can backfire. When talking your way in, stay chatty and keep your story straight. Then, even if they think you’re lying they may still let you in.

Make friends

Getting matey with DJs and club owners will ensure you walk in free every time and probably get slipped the odd drink on the house as well. This one is tried and tested, and guaranteed to work so long as you don’t break their heart. Making friends with celebs, be they models, actors or fashion designers, is also a sure-fire blag to parties. You could become the ‘and friend’ in magazine photos, wear their clothes, borrow their stylist and meet other suitable famous people to use in this way too. Perfect.

Pretend to be someone important

Whether you carry a record box and pretend to be the DJ or claim to be scouting a suitable venue for Mr Big’s party, if you get it right the bouncers will just wave you in. Act confident, dress right and you can probably pull it off. The first requires no words, just get the ‘I can’t be arsed’ expression and stance right and you’re in. The latter requires an ability to talk the talk and a suitable business card to flash at the door. After being shown around, you can enjoy a few free drinks and then just stick around. Alternatively you could become a celeb looky-likey, pull up in a flash, chauffer-driven car and walk right in. The bouncers are unlikely to believe you really are the star, but if you look the part you’ll probably get away with it.

Network, dahling

Even if you think schmoozing sounds like too much hard work, it’ll pay off. Talk to fellow VIP-ers and find out where the next place to be is and how you can be there, free. A little eavesdropping will fill your dates to remember quicker than the shooters slip down your throat. Do your own crafty research too, keep up with showbiz news, be aware of launch parties and celeb dos, and try and get hold of a ticket. If you can get yourself in, you can probably blag a few of your mates in, too.

Last resort

The sob story – even if they don’t care about you or your plight they may usher you in just to shut you up.

Photo of VIPs by Shutterstock