Blagging your way into a club

What is blagging and how do you blag your way into a club? Read on to find out how to avoid facing up to angry bouncers when your social engineering techniques fall flat.

What is blagging?

Blagging is ‘the action of obtaining something by using persuasion or guile’ (guile being ‘sly or cunning intelligence). It’s a very useful skill if you want to get in a nightclub for free, or just skip the queue, but be careful ‘cos bouncers aren’t generally known for their tolerant, care-free attitude.

How to blag your way into a club

So you want to become a pro blagger? Here are our top 5 tips for blagging your way into a club:

1. Image is everything: Either dress to impress, or if that’s not your vibe then act like you’re creative, and take someone glam who can gush loudly about how you’re the next big thing. Getting the look right is essential, so know the code and stick to it.
2. Chatting to bouncers: Blagging still requires the ability to be nice – acting arsey doesn’t work unless you ARE a star and even then it can backfire. When talking your way in, stay chatty and keep your story straight. Then, even if they think you’re lying they may still let you in.
3. Make friends: Getting matey with DJs and club owners can ensure that you walk in free every time, and probably get slipped the odd drink on the house as well. This one is tried and tested, and guaranteed to work. Making friends with celebs, be they models, actors or fashion designers, is also a sure-fire blag into parties. You could become the ‘and friend’ in magazine photos, wear their clothes, borrow their stylist and meet other suitable famous people to use in this way too. Perfect.
4. Pretend to be someone important:
   – Whether you carry a record box and pretend to be the DJ or claim to be scouting a suitable venue for a celebrity party, if you get it right the bouncers will just wave you in. Act confident, dress right and you can probably pull it off. The first requires no words, just get the ‘I can’t be arsed’ expression and stance right and you’re in. The latter requires an ability to talk the talk and a suitable business card to flash at the door. After being shown around, you can enjoy a few free drinks and then just stick around.
   – Alternatively, you could become a celeb looky-likey, pull up in a flash, chauffeur-driven car and walk right in. The bouncers are unlikely to believe you really are the star, but if you look the part you’ll probably get away with it.
5. Networking: Even if you think schmoozing sounds like too much hard work, it’ll pay off. Talk to fellow VIP-ers and find out where the next place to be is and how you can be there, free. Do your own crafty research too, keep up with showbiz news, be aware of launch parties and celeb dos, and try and get hold of a ticket. If you can get yourself in, you can probably blag a few of your mates in, too.

The last resort

The sob story, where you divulge some personal information which may or may not be true – even if they don’t give a shit they may usher you in just to shut you up. Or, if you’re sick and tired of trying to blag your way into club nights, why not start your own club night? That way you’ll always get in for free!