Personality disorders

Personality disorders usually fall under one of ten recognised types. Mixed personality disorder is when the symptoms fall in between these definitions. In this article The Mix will answer the most common questions about the different types and how to get help with them.

What is a personality?

To understand what a personality disorder is, we first need to understand what we mean when we talk about your personality. Your Personality is inherently ‘you’. It is how you think, how you feel about stuff, how you behave. This develops and adapts as you grow up and have different relationships and experiences. Sometimes when we experience difficult or traumatic events in our life, it can affect, not only our mental health, but also our developing personalities – which can sometimes lead to personality disorders.

What is a personality disorder?

Personality disorders affect the way you think, feel and behave. They can make people question their identity and who they are. Personality disorders can also make it difficult to form relationships, to stay out of trouble and to control feelings or behaviour.

The most common personality disorder is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with BPD find it difficult to process emotions and may experience some of the following:

• Having an extreme fear of being abandoned
• Having unstable relationships with others
• Being impulsive and reckless
• Self-harm
• Paranoia
• Suicidal feelings or behaviours
• Intense mood swings

What are the types of personality disorders?

Just to make things super confusing, there are lots of different types of personality disorders – ten to be precise (or eleven if you include mixed personality disorder):

• Obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCD) – this is the most common one
• Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
• Paranoid personality disorder
• Schizoid personality disorder
• Schizotypal personality disorder
• Antisocial personality disorder
• Dependent personality disorder
• Narcissistic personality disorder
• Histrionic personality disorder
• Avoidant personality disorder

The problem with this list is that any given person can instantly freak out and diagnose themselves with four or five different disorders, because some of the symptoms are quite common even without a disorder.

Do I have a personality disorder?

All of us, to some degree, have disordered personalities. We can all be a bit self-obsessed, over-emotional, make bad decisions and get really nervous about silly things. Human beings are ultimately flawed, no matter how hard we try. This doesn’t mean we all have personality disorders. But there are some people who do have genuine personality disorders and need support and treatment. 

How to tell if you have a personality disorder

The best indicator that you have a personality disorder is to ask these questions: Is the way you behave making you very unhappy and distressed? And/or: is the way you behave often upsetting and harming the people around you? 

If this is the case, it’s worth going to talk to your GP about what’s going on. They might refer you to a mental health professional for treatment. 

Learn more about talking to others about your mental health

Treatment for personality disorders

The biggest misconception about personality disorders is that they’re a life sentence and can’t be treated. This is completely untrue.

With the right treatment and support, you can live a satisfying and happy life. It’s important to get diagnosed first and then you’ll be directed to the help you need. The important thing to remember is that having a personality disorder is not your fault, and seeking help for it is neither embarrassing nor shameful.

Talking therapies – will vary, depending on the type of personality disorder you’re diagnosed with. But common types of therapy include: mentalisation and cognitive analytical therapy (CAT). Lots of the therapies involve group work, which can be great for meeting other people going through the same thing.

Medication – this varies too, again depending on your diagnosis. Though medication won’t ‘cure’ your personality disorder, it can help control some of the symptoms and issues. Antidepressants and mood stabilisers can both help get your brain in check so you’re more receptive to the talking therapies. And in some cases, antipsychotics are prescribed when you have symptoms of psychosis.

Learn more about antidepressants.

DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) – this is a specific type of therapy designed for people with BPD. Its goal is to alter your thinking of seeing your relationships, environment and life in ‘black and white’ which can lead to destructive thoughts and behaviours.

How can I support someone with a personality disorder?

Learn as much as you can about personality disorders. This will help you understand why someone you have a close relationship with might be acting a certain way. It’ll also allow you to support them better. It can be tricky to find accurate information, but the following organisations offer great advice about personality disorders:

• Rethink Mental Illness
• Mind
• NHS

The best thing you can do for someone struggling with their mental health is be there for them. Remind them how loved they are, and how you’ll be there to listen to or support them.

But make sure you look after yourself too. You’re not expected to fix someone’s mental health, and sometimes you might feel quite overwhelmed. Rethink offers lots of great support for friends and family.