Is it OK to finger my anus to find my prostate?

“I wank regularly and just recently started lubing a finger up with some hand cream and fingering my anus whilst masturbating. Could this do any harm and, since I’m straight, should I enjoy this? When I do it, it feels really good but afterwards I feel really ashamed about it – if it’s normal why the shame?” 

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating. It’s just a way of exploring your own sexuality. It’s perfectly safe, doesn’t hurt anybody else and teaches you about your body and what you like and don’t like, which is useful for future relationships. An overwhelming majority of people masturbate regularly.

Anal fingering is perfectly normal

The anus is a particularly pleasurable area for a man because the prostate gland lies right by it and there are lots of nerve endings which are stimulated when you finger yourself. Your body is designed so that it feels good – so how can it be wrong?

Lots of people feel guilty about sex. That’s probably because of the way society treats it as a bit of a taboo. And when it comes to bottoms, we’re even more juvenile. Because of their main purpose – as the place where waste is released – we see them as dirty.

Anal masturbation does not mean you’re gay

It’s possible you’re also feeling bad after fingering yourself because it’s making you question your sexuality. But enjoying fingering yourself doesn’t mean you might be gay. Being gay means you fancy people of the same sex. Lots of straight couples experiment with and enjoy a finger in the bum during sex and many enjoy anal sex too. It’s still a bit of a taboo subject, which is why you probably feel like the only one. You’re not. You can get the facts on anal sex in this article.

Anal fingering is safe to do

Fingering yourself is perfectly safe. As long as your fingers are clean (and your fingernails are clean and not long or jagged), it can’t do you any harm at all. Make sure you always wash your hands thoroughly afterwards, so you don’t spread germs to other parts of your body. Just a thought – you might be better off using a lubricant designed for sex (such as KY jelly – find it in your local pharmacy) rather than your hand cream which could be fragranced and might irritate the delicate skin of your anus. For more information, check out our article on lube here.

If you want to talk in confidence about these issues, call Sexwise on 0800 282930, or you can chat anonymously on our Discussion Boards.