Is it OK to finger my anus to find my prostate?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating. It’s just a way of exploring your own sexuality. It’s perfectly safe, doesn’t hurt anybody else and teaches you about your body and what you like and don’t like, which is useful for future relationships. An overwhelming majority of men – and women – masturbate regularly.

The anus is a particularly pleasurable area for a man because the prostate gland lies right by it and there are lots of nerve endings which are stimulated when you finger yourself. Your body is designed so that it feels good – so how can it be wrong?

Lots of people feel guilty about sex. That’s probably because of the way society treats it as a bit of a taboo. And when it comes to bottoms, we’re even more juvenile. Because of their main purpose – as the place where waste is released – we see them as dirty.

It’s possible you’re also feeling bad after fingering yourself because it’s making you question your sexuality. But enjoying fingering yourself doesn’t mean you might be gay. Being gay means you fancy people of the same sex. Lots of straight couples insert their fingers in each other’s anuses during sex and they enjoy anal sex too. It’s still a bit of a taboo subject, which is why you probably feel like the only one. You’re not.

Fingering yourself is perfectly safe. As long as your fingers are clean (and you fingernails are clean and not long or jagged), it can’t do you any harm at all. Make sure you always wash your hands thoroughly afterwards, so you don’t spread germs to other parts of your body. Just a thought – you might be better off using a lubricant designed for sex (such as KY jelly – find it in your local pharmacy) rather than your hand cream which could be fragranced and might irritate the delicate skin of your anus.

If you want to talk in confidence about these issues, call Sexwise on 0800 282930.