I want to lose my virginity, should I sleep with my ex?

Social pressure to lose your virginity can be difficult to ignore, but just because someone has made it clear they want to have sex with you doesn’t mean you need to rush into it. If you’re considering having sex for the first time it can be better to do it with someone you have a good relationship with. That way you’ll be with a person you trust, which should make the experience more comfortable.

But what about when that person is your ex? If you feel you’re ready to lose your virginity but you’re not in a relationship, sex with your ex might seem like the best option. Yes, you know them and to an extent trust them, but the reality is that getting with your ex will come with a whole load of complications which might mean the experience isn’t what you hoped for.

You shouldn’t ever rush, or feel pressured, into losing your virginity; it’s one of the reasons why many people regret the way they lost theirs. A user of The Mix got in touch to ask for our advice when considering having sex with her ex boyfriend. Take a look at our advice below and for more support related to losing your virginity check out our resources here.

Should I have sex with my ex to lose my virginity?

“My ex boyfriend wants me to have sex with him. I still love him and I think I might be ready, but how do I know for sure? I really want to have sex because, to be honest, I feel like I’ve got a really high sex drive for a girl, but should I wait?”

There are three really important things to consider before you decide anything:

Even if you are desperate to lose your virginity, you need to think about whether you should with an ex.

If he’s so keen on you and wants to have sex, then why is he your ex? Think about how you’re going to feel if you sleep with him and then he loses interest. Is this something that doesn’t bother you? Or would you like to continue the relationship once you’ve had sex with him? It’s important you work out what you want and be aware that you may have to cope if things don’t go your way.

Often sex isn’t that great when people lose their virginity.

In fact, often it’s lousy. But you should try to give yourself the best possible chance of it being lovely by doing it with someone who loves and cherishes you.

You say you feel you’ve got a high sex drive for a girl but it’s not just boys that have high sex drives.

It’s natural to feel desperate to have sex and plenty of it. And some women have to have several orgasms a week in order to feel relaxed and happy and satisfied. In that, they’re no different from men. But having sex with the wrong person is not necessarily a good idea.

Sex is a normal, natural thing, but people often feel better about themselves if they reserve sex for partners who truly value them, so maybe it’s worth you working out if your ex loves you the way you love him.

Finally, no matter when you choose to have sex, it’s important you find out about contraception before you do.

Have you thought about having sex with your ex? Share your experience on our discussion boards.