How can I stop coming so quickly?

Premature ejaculation is defined as ejaculating sooner than you or your partner wishes. This means that you do have premature ejaculation if you don’t feel happy about ejaculating when you do.

To reassure you, it is one of the most common sexual problems affecting men. Most men will experience premature ejaculation at some time in their life. It can have physical or psychological causes, with stress and anxiety being common factors.

Premature ejaculation can be caused by being very sexually excited, which is quite common in younger men because they are becoming interested in sex and relationships during puberty, and exploring their bodies for the first time.

Stopping masturbation might not be helpful, because this could lead to a build up of sexual tension and may cause you to ejaculate more quickly when you do something sexual. This is because the more excited you are, the easier it is to ejaculate quickly.

There isn’t an extra layer of skin on the penis that gets thinner or thicker depending on how much you masturbate. The penis is sensitive because it has hundreds of nerve endings in it, particularly in the head of the penis. How much you masturbate doesn’t affect the nerve endings.

Many men can be helped to delay ejaculation, using self-help methods, but some may require the help of an expert practitioner.

You may want to try a simple self-help method that can be effective, called the stop/start technique. This can be done either by the man alone or with his partner, whichever is preferable.

Step 1: Gradually start stimulation of the penis, stopping just before you think you are about to ejaculate.

Step 2: Rest, no stimulation for 30-60 seconds.

Step 3: Begin stimulation of the penis again, stopping or reducing stimulation until the probability of ejaculation has passed.

Step 4: Repeat above steps four or five times, until you begin to recognise the point of ejaculation. Allow ejaculation to occur.

More information is available about male sexual difficulties from NetDoctor, including self-help and treatment. You can also visit your local Brook Centre and have a confidential chat with a counsellor or see a doctor there, or you can visit their digital tool, Ask Brook.