Saying ‘I love you!’

So you've fallen in love? Congratulations! Now for the small matter of saying 'I love you'. Out loud. To them. Scary? Yes. But we're here to hold your hand.

Saying I love you can feel like an impossible mountain to climb.

So you’ve been dating for a while. You’re crazy for each other. Everything you do, see or say each day somehow relates back to that someone special. You can’t stop thinking about them, you can’t stop talking about them either.

So go on then . . . say it – tell that person how you really feel!

Before you say ‘I love you’

Telling someone you’re in love with them for the first time is never easy. It can take months to pluck up the courage, or it can slip out at the wrong time and potentially wreck a relationship.

Ask yourself if you’re genuinely falling in love with this person?

Saying it without really meaning it is like holding up a sheet of Clingfilm and hoping they won’t see through it. There’s nothing more obvious than a fake ‘I love you’, especially if it’s said in a bid to earn you some sex. And even if it works, they’ll hate you for it later.

Plan what you’re going to say

But not too much! It’s a good idea to know roughly what you’re going to say and when, but don’t make it a military manouevre. Let a little spontaneity rule the moment, as it’s there that emotions come to the fore. If it all sounds too stressful, however, then consider writing a love letter instead. That way, you can draft it to your heart’s content. Just be aware that you’ll have to face them afterwards, and say it for real some time.

Prepare yourself for their response

It’s all too easy to get so caught up in how to deliver the line that you fail to see beyond it. Don’t assume they’ll say it back instantly and melt into your arms. It may come as a shock to them, or worse, they might not feel the same way. Whatever the case, don’t hold out for the best-case scenario. Unless, of course, you’re prepared to wait until you know for sure that they feel the same way.

How to say ‘I love you’

Be bold. There is no quick-fix way to make this moment painless, but you can deliver the goods by speaking clearly, and holding eye contact too. It’s no good mumbling the line into your shoes, or saying it so quick that you’re obliged to repeat yourself because they didn’t quite catch it. Get it right first time. Come on, now. Consider yourself a sniper of love. You have them in your target. Your aim is steady and true. Now give it your best shot.

What if they don’t say it back?

Be patient. Even if you don’t get the response you want straight away, you will have irreversibly changed the dynamics of this relationship – hopefully for the best. If it comes as a surprise, then give them time to digest things, and work out what it means to them. Ultimately, telling someone you love them shouldn’t earn you anything more than respect. It’s a heartfelt expression. Not a password to make things more intimate.