The six commandments of festival sex

A good festival is a field of dreams, packed with potential pulling partners. But like everything in life, copping off while camping has both its good and bad points.

six commandments of festivals sex (a tent features with some love hearts above)

This article was written alongside our friends over at HANX. HANX provides sustainable products for the bedroom along with sex-positive advice via their website. Together, we aim to crush those myths and beat off that negativity when it comes to all things sex.

So, first things first, let’s unpack the highs and lows of fooling around at festivals…

Pros of sex at festivals:

  • The odds of pulling are pretty high. You’re among a community of hedonists who may be up for anything (and maybe anyone, even you).
  • Away from home, it’s easy to be whoever you want. Who cares if your mates have seen you weeping over your lack of action back home? Inside the festival walls you can be the world’s greatest seducer and nobody’s will know any better.
  • Sex for its own sake can be fun – providing you’re playing safely (pack contraception) and you both know what you’re getting into beforehand.
  • Doing it under canvas (or the stars) definitely makes a change from doing it in your bedroom. It’s unlikely your mum will walk in either.
  • There are no sheets to clean up afterwards.
  • It beats waiting for the beer tent to open.

Cons of sex at festivals:

  • If you’re going to get down and dirty recognise you may have to go without a shower for the rest of the festival. Nice.
  • Jumping on the bones of complete strangers carries significant risks – you don’t know their sexual history or how they’ll relate to you afterwards. So be sensible about contraception, never have sex without a condom and be open about your intentions before you hit the sack.
  • Shagging in a tent with a torch on turns you into an erotic shadow puppet – people can see your silhouette and you could end up with an audience (although some may consider this a plus – particularly the audience).
  • Doing it in your sleeping bag can make things more intimate, but are you ready to clamber back in afterwards? That cold, sticky stuff midway down… it isn’t mud.

The six commandments of festival sex

1.) Condoms at festivals

If there’s even the slightest chance you’ll be getting it on with a new partner, take some condoms and save yourself time, stress, and money. Having condoms in your purse doesn’t mean you’re a slut, it means you care about your health. Even if you don’t get lucky yourself you can be the kind person who lends a few to a grateful friend.

Condoms are the best way to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). If you buy them before you go, then they’re already in your rucksack, which makes throwing caution to the wind a bit less likely. Store away from heat and direct sunlight to avoid damage. Anything oil-based can weaken them too, so don’t be tempted to use Vaseline, body lotion, or moisturiser as a lubricant. If you’re looking to hook with a woman bring along a few dental dams with you, which can be used during oral sex.

If you need condoms while you’re at the festival, they’ll be readily available from site stores. Most festivals also have people giving them out for free. If possible only use ones with the British Standard’s kite mark or a European safety logo on the packet.

2.) Water is your friend

Portaloos on day 3 of a festi + Cystitis = nightmares for eternity. Stay hydrated, pee as much as you can (push through the hangover and make an early morning loo trip just as they’ve been cleaned) and wash your vulva at any opportunity. If you’ve splashed out on a fancy shower pass – ooh, get you. If you’re slumming it *raises hand*, go to town with an unscented, biodegradable wet wipe or splash of bottled water. Prone to a twinge? Prep ahead and take our Cystitis treatment for on-the-go relief by the main stage.

3.) Avoid going AWOL during the headline set

Make sure your mates know where you’re slipping off to, and who you’re slipping off with. Establish boundaries before you get down to it, too. Your festival beau/s should be aware of what you’re up for and crucially, what you aren’t.

4.) Stay safe (in more ways than one)

It’s safer not to take drugs, but if you do, remember that they can make you lose inhibitions and be more sexually adventurous. Drink plenty of water, use a condom and alert your friends and a festival steward if you or your partner start feeling unwell. On-site healthcare providers are there to give you the best care – they aren’t looking to get you in trouble. Be prepared! The morning after pill has a shelf life of 3 years and is always good to have on hand, especially at a festival when there’s no pharmacies to run to…

5.) Emergency contraception

If you do have unprotected sex it’s important to think about emergency contraception. The morning-after pill is effective at preventing pregnancy for up to 72 hours after you had sex, but the sooner it’s taken the better.

Don’t cross your fingers and hope for the best. Go to the medical tent and ask for some advice about what’s available. You may be able to temporarily register with a nearby GP who can give you a prescription, or go to the closest casualty department.

6.) Keep it breezy.

Hot, sweaty mosh pits mean damp, moist knickers – the perfect environment for a yeast infection. If you find yourself with a chunky white discharge, burning of the vulva and/or pain when you pee, there’s a chance you’ve got Thrush. Find our top tips for avoiding it (the camper’s nightmare) and how to treat it. Remember, thrush isn’t a sexually transmitted disease, but it can be triggered by a bit of festival sex. 

Basically, remember to pee ASAP after sex to clear out the vagina (from secretions and semen). If your festival hottie is using their fingers, mouth, penis or sex toys, bacteria present can be introduced, disrupting the natural ecosystem of bacteria and Candida in the vagina. Keep as clean and fresh as possible before you get down to it.

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Updated on 29-Sep-2015

Image by volunteer photographer Gareth Reid