Expert chat: What is mindfulness?

p>[Becky: So what actually is Mindfulness?

Clare: It's a method of paying close attention to your thoughts, moods and emotions in the moment. Most people will try and do it through simple meditation. Rather than trying to push your difficult thoughts and emotions away, mindfulness encourages you to accept and explore them in a gentle way. For example, if you wake up in the morning and you feel really tired, your brain might automatically start to try to 'solve' this feeling by thinking it through. It might say 'why am I tired?', 'I shouldn't be tired', 'what can I do to stop being tired?'. By doing that, you are trying to 'fix' the tiredness problem through thinking. This can sometimes make you feel worse and lead you into a negative spiral of thoughts. Instead, mindfulness suggests that you spend a few minutes breathing and focusing on how tiredness actually feels in your body. This can help you to recognise the tiredness as 'just tiredness' so that you don't start thinking and worrying about it. This thinking and worrying is sometimes called 'rumination'. Mindfulness can be a good way of learning how to stop your thoughts and feelings from running on autopilot.

Olivia: Is mindfulness related to the use of calming exercises?

Clare: The idea of calming yourself is an interesting one. Mindfulness meditation can be calming but it's not designed to help you 'relax'. Some people think that they're doing it wrong if they don't relax. Mindfulness meditation is about taking a step back and being aware of however you're feeling - maybe relaxed, maybe frustrated, maybe tired. Lots of people do find the meditations calming. However, with mindfulness, you would do them to be more aware of whatever you're feeling at the time - not specifically to calm yourself.

Katy: Is mindfulness something they teach in DBT?

Clare: Hi Katy, that's a good question - yes it is. Mindfulness is one of the four main elements of DBT. It helps you to accept and tolerate some of the difficult emotions that you might come across in DBT. It's a core part of it really. This article from Mind explains more about DBT if you're interested.

Katy: I've heard that mindfulness is used in relation to self-harming, how does that work?

Clare: Gaining skills in mindfulness might help you become more aware of how you feel, the urges you experience and how to take decisions about these urges. It can also provide a new perspective on negative emotions, feelings and bodily sensations which in turn gives us a new way of managing them.

Andy: Is it useful to keep the mind engaged in things that we enjoy in order to avoid dwelling on negative thoughts?

Clare: That's a really good question Andy and it relates to mindfulness. Part of the point in becoming more aware of how our body feels in the moment is to become better at making skilful decisions about the best actions for us at the time. Often this is something we take pleasure in, or something that gives us a sense of 'mastery' (being able to do something well).

Becky: I did some painting earlier and for the whole time my mind was just focused on that and I really enjoyed it :) I didn't feel any negative emotion at all I was just happy and content.

Andy: Time seems to go quicker when you're doing something you enjoy. I guess that could be related to the mind, often when time seems slow it's because we're bored or nervous or something.

Clare: It could be yes. But we're not always aware that that's how we feel are we?

Andy: That's true. So if I feel tired, rather than thinking 'I'm tired, it's going to be a bad day', it's better to think 'I'm tired so I'll go and distract myself with something enjoyable, have a rest then go back to what I'm doing later'?

Clare: Yes, in a nutshell Andy. If you do a course of MBCT which links Mindfulness and CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) they explore this in more depth. They talk about how we have different 'modes of mind' - the main ones are the 'doing mode' and the 'being mode'. Using the 'doing mode' to try and 'fix' our emotions and moods can cause problems and make things worse. Just accepting and exploring how they actually feel in our bodies and minds (the 'being mode') can help give us a new perspective and relationship to them.

Becky: I'm really excited about trying mindfulness.

Andy: Do you think other people can influence our minds in a positive way? And in what way?

Clare: Yes, I think they can Andy. Although sometimes we think that someone else has made us feel sad (for example) when in fact, it's our reaction to what they have said or done that has made us feel sad. For example, if you're in a low mood anyway and someone does something like ignore you on the stairs, you might feel worse and think that they have made you feel terrible. In fact, if you had been in a happy mood, you might not have minded so much that they ignored you and just thought 'oh, they probably didn't see me'. A lot of mindfulness or MBCT courses will encourage you to write an action plan about the triggers you have and the ways you behave when you are at risk of feeling depressed - and then share that with friends or family. They can then look out for those too - and say 'Hey, maybe it's time to do some exercise, painting, mindfulness?' Whatever works for you!

Jo: I really like the idea of involving others to help spot when you might be on a downward spiral.

Debs: I wish I could get into mindfulness, but I can never stick at anything for long.

Clare: A big part of mindfulness is about not being too hard on yourself and being gentle with yourself Debs. So instead of saying 'I can't do this, I never stick to it', just decide to do a tiny bit whenever you can. You can be mindful when you are walking or eating or doing anything!